I miss him so much. We broke up in February, right before our two year anniversary. I still love him and he [says he] still loves me. We’ve been talking and sometimes seeing each other (as friends) but we both want more. He is currently at the doctor’s for a few days getting help because his PTSD is worse. He wants to fix himself and be better for me. And him. He wants to be the man I need. And I love him so much for getting help and wanting to come back. Leaving him was the hardest thing I’ve ever done. The way he was though, that hurt me a lot. He’d see other girls and I found out. But now, he says he really wants to change for me. And I’m hoping he really does because I need him. He went to Africa in July and he wrote me saying he was having horrible dreams and on numerous occasions, woke up screaming my name. He told me he was so sorry for how he treated me and that he will forever live with the guilt and hopes that some day our love can be reborn.

And I hope it is. I truly love him. And I don’t think I’ll ever stop. It’s only been 7 months, but it feels like we’ve been apart for an eternity.